So after awkwardly looking bad to see when the last time I updated was, I realized that too many things have changed. The break turned into a breakup, and I'm perfectly fine with that. Then I ended up dating someone for a brief time, and he and I are still friends. We were really in a limbo stage since I had just gotten out of a relationship, and he is / was friends with my most recent ex.

Confusing enough? Let's move on.

Today was my sister's wedding reception. After all the months of hard work, things have finally come to a close in this wedding chapter. It was probably the most stressful day I've ever had. I was sure something would go wrong. And of course, it was seating arrangements.

Everything went to shit. And then it somehow worked itself out. Fantastic!

Everyone loved the LEGO theme. The table numbers were LEGO, the wedding favors were LEGO candies, and even the cake was white LEGO pieces stacked on top of each other.

Compliments on outfits and the entire event were thrown about everywhere. I almost couldn't handle the event. I honestly didn't handle it well at all. I was a wreck, and I hope Sterling's pictures don't show it. I was horribly uncomfortable in my outfit, my hair didn't feel good, and I lost my heel liner at one point in the night.

Regardless of how I may have been feeling, the night really was great. Everyone had a blast, everyone was getting along, and everything really was running smoothly.

Thinking the night couldn't get any better, Eli and I laid outside for a few hours just staring up at the stars and talking. Nothing really important, but those are the best moments.

Now that the reception is over, my internship is going to be full blast and so will work hours. I was told by my boss that I get all these hours because I'm so good. *toot toot* Too bad my max amount of hours is only 6 to close.

Womp womp.

I feel like my summer is finally here. I just wish it had more time with my family and friends. My sad default answer is "I'm at work" or "I have to be up early tomorrow." I feel as if I haven't seen a lot of my friends in a while, and it is getting a little sad. It doesn't help that I'll probably be living alone next semester / year as well.

As the semester comes to an end, there have been a lot of changes within the last month. Chandler and I are sadly on a break. It's only been about a week, but I have been on a roller coaster of emotions. Is he talking to someone else? Why did we go on a break? Is this break going to turn into a break up? I was a worried mess, and an emotional wreck. It was a difficult week, and I had finals to worry about to.

Besides finals to worry about, I also had other things on my plate: losing weight for the wedding, planning the wedding, getting fitted for the wedding, finish papers / projects, applying for internships, contemplating on whether or not to move back home. It's been difficult, and it would have been nice to a shoulder (Jay is here yay!) to just rest on or a hand to hold.

Luckily, today we talked things out, and things feel a lot better. Focusing the last few days has been really difficult, but I really do feel a lot better. My questions were answered, and my worries were washed away. Although I'm still sad, I feel more confident that things will work out.

There have been a lot of people that have been there for me that will never realize what they have done for me. It made me realize that people will come out of the woodworks when someone is feeling even a little down. When I first mentioned what happened and how I was feeling, there were people I rarely talk to that were willing to be there for me.

I realized I love my family. I love my APO family. I love my brothers. I love my friends.

I did, however, try to put my power bracelet on before Stamdrew, and it broke. It's a sign. I was very sad.

I'm even sadder at how it costs $25 to fix. I just want, even if it's make believe and hokey, some power into my life and some strength. Is it too much to ask? Apparently.

Back to studying.

I haven't been studying as well as I should be this semester. Someone as rude enough to remind me I only have six weeks left for studying before finals, and I think I experienced a heart attack.

I quickly want to update this and say that I have been told A LOT lately that I'm a pretty funny person. I don't try [too] hard to be funny, but I know I succeed in it. If I can put a smile on your face, I won for the day!

I also remember that my sister and I talked about comedians a long time ago. Some of the best comedians are that funny because of two different reasons:

They are not embarrassed by anything.
They had a rough past.

I get embarrassed easily, so it obviously isn't the first. My life, honestly, has been pretty sweet. There are a lot of things I took / take for granted, so I feel like there are a lot of rough patches in the past. I don't know why, but I had a really dark time, and when I think back, I shouldn't have taken it so harshly.

Maybe it was because I was 13.

#angst #angst #angst

I now try to twist that into making sure no one else feels like they have dark times either. I know, and still remember all too well, what it was like to be in those dark moments. Where it feels like no one is there, where no one understands, where no one is listening. It's actually the opposite, and people just don't know what to do to help you out. It wasn't that they didn't want to help, it was that they didn't know how to help.

That's enough of sad stuff.

A bird hit my windshield the other day, and it was horrifying.

Mkbai.

PS. I have also heard that the youngest in a family does funny / stupid things for attention.

My dad said it's probably true.

My dad called me stupid.

I suck at this.

I'm studying for midterms, so right now is the perfect time to update this!

I'm going to have to admit that I like change. I almost like it too much. I don't know if it's that I like a change in my routine, or I get annoyed at having a routine. Some things I like to stay normal, like how every morning I brush my teeth and wash my face. There are other routines that become exhausting, like knowing I'm going to have to get gas once or twice a week, and there's no way to avoid it because of how much I drive. Exhausting. Lame. Tiring. Annoying.

Even though I'm a little OCD, I really do like change a lot. There's been a lot of change lately, and I don't mind that it might become permanent. I'm pretty content in my life, and I don't really think I'd want to exchange that for anything else. Things have definitely been a bit rough, but that's not for a public journal to see.

APO recently got new pledges, and MAN are they great! I can't get over how fun this class is. I'm hoping they aren't going to disappoint because I've liked everyone I've met so far. I feel really bad though. There are several that will say "HI MICHELLE" from far away, and I wave politely. There are a lot of them that I have no idea what their names are, and I know it's gonna kick me in the butt pretty soon.

I have two new littles, and they're both amazing (thanks, Nam)! I haven't had a chance to have an outing with them yet, but I'm hoping we will be able to have some sort of outing for Mayra's birthday since it was last Monday. I really wanted it to be this week, but it looks like midterms are going to kick my butt. Obviously, since I'm writing in this for the first time in a month or more. Next week! There is potential since it's going to be Spring Break!

I also realized that I definitely did not get everything I wanted done for my sister's wedding yet. #fail.

My goal was to have everything done by midterms, and look, it's midterms. I think I'm mentally kicking myself for it because I was so on the ball at one point. I'm not really sure what happened. Maybe life happened? Oh well. I will just have to pick up the pace and do everything within this week. At least I finished DURING midterms, right? Maybe? That's what I'm going to say.

Oh yeah, and my boyfriend is asleep next to me, and that's making me feel pretty good right now. Our lives consist of him gaming, me studying, and then napping.

Where has he been my whole life?

Right next to me because we've known each other since fifth grade!

#smallworld #bestfeelingever #nottwitter

List of things to do during these snow days:

Redo nails
Shower
Make copious amounts of tea
Eat
Put slippers on
Sit here

What I haven't done:

Clean
Catch up on couponing
Study
Read
Be productive
Watch a movie

I am working on an e-mail to send to my cousin in Vietnam. She said she's never seen snow, so I always send her pictures of snow. And dude, we have a lot of snow. I'm scared to go outside. Just kidding! I need to get my winter gear and just fall into the snow. THAT could be my new profile picture...

I'm honestly not sure what to do with myself. I've been having stomach aches the last few days and have been a little coughy. Luckily, Kristen and I have a lot of coffee and tea, so I should be set. And we have internet. Thank. The. Gods.

Wedding planning is still stressful. Even though my internship is closed, and school is closed, the planning is a nonstop job. Do I overstress? Probably. Should I study instead of plan? Yes.

We ordered our dresses for the wedding reception. They are cuuuute! I don't know if I should post them yet. I should probably work out before I put it on and cry. Yeah, that should be on the to-do list.

I might take pictures of things I throw into the snow. Like my Darth Vader lego mini-fig. I might lose him, but it'll be worth it!

IT'S COOKIE TIME! I should also add to the list to cook. Mmmmm I can become a chef if this lasts long enough!

I'm laying in bed right now, and for some reason can't sleep. It takes me a while to go to sleep, and I think it's because my head is still in hyper mode.

I feel like I've been explaining to a lot of people what my schedule looks like. It's really complicated, and really full, so here we go:



This doesn't even include how I'm constantly stressing about my sister's wedding reception and the wedding itself. Even though a lot is included in the wedding package, I'm stressing about how my hair is gonna look, what jewelry to get, what shoes to buy and whether it'll work for both the wedding AND the reception, and the list goes on and on! It's becoming really stressful, and there's nothing I can really do about it!

The internship is going smoothly. A lot of random things to do here and there, but today we placed different performers on their stages! It was a lot of work, but we felt really accomplished to get it done. I wanted to do lunch with Gina and Evan since she said I could be gone for as long as I wanted, but I just got a sandwich and chilled at Barnes and Noble for a while. I somehow wandered over to the Wedding section there, so it's pretty much always on my mind.

My boss is getting married this year! She borrowed a "Handmade Wedding" book from another person in the office getting married, and man is the stuff in there cute! There were a lot of things in there I would love to do for my own wedding, but I need to get a boyfriend first.

Applications are available at the front desk.



Tonight, Anna, Bryan, and I were all at Gina and Evan's condo hanging out. We ate at Earl's after shopping for reception dresses, and then we watched Hot Fuzz because Bryan hadn't seen it yet. It was even funnier this time somehow because I really paid attention to some of the jokes! I was zoning out a lot because I was doing homework though. Next time we're watching Zombieland because I missed out on that with my friends. I always miss the good movies.

I almost forget that school is here because of the stupid Ice Day we had. After my internship filled with moving things from office to office (where did my arms go?), I was super tired and ended up going to sleep instead of going out Friday night. I went to bed at midnight. When has that ever happened?! I don't even remember.

Friday was filled with a lot of things to do in the city. For instance, besides my internship, I stayed up North and went to the Deep Fork tasting for Gina and Evan's wedding reception. Om nom nom! What I didn't know was that the internship involved having lunch catered from Deep Fork! Was I stuffed? Yes. Did I mind? Hell no!

The food from Deep Fork was deeeelicious! I could not believe how good the Espresso Crusted Beef was. I mean... how does it not sound scrum-diddly-umptious? And then there was Strawberry Pomegranate Pork Wine Sauce on a Duck Breast. What. I am so overwhelmed just typing all of it out! I absolutely loooooved it, and even though I had lunch, I could still tell how great it was. Our caterer said he was jealous because this isn't a normal dish for them to serve. When the caterer is jealous, you know you've hit the mark!

After an hour long meeting with him, I felt really confident about the entire thing. Then I realized how "wedding mode" we all are now. We're all freaking about working out, our diets, and all our measurements. Oh man, I am so scared. Can I study, shower, and eat on an exercise bike, please? Maybe sleep on it, and just keep going in my sleep? Who needs sleep walking when you have SLEEP BIKING?!

Then, of course, during the crunch time, our exercise bike breaks. WHYYYYY?!?!?!? If I could find my bike in Norman, I wouldn't need a dumb stationary bike.

Can someone please find my purple and lime green bike in Norman? It's on the OU campus... somewhere...

This whole weekend has been so family oriented, and I've loved every bit of it. There were times where I really just get bummed being away from my family, but I perk up instantly when I know I'll have time to spend with my family. I absolutely love my family, even though I get frustrated a lot of times. I don't know what I'll do when I end up moving away for my real job in a few years. It's already going to be hard knowing Gina is moving away in a year and a half. It's really tough, but it'll end up being okay. It'll give me an excuse to go traveling around!

I don't know what happened to this blog post. Anna and I have been talking, and I think it doesn't make sense. I'll try again later?

SCHOOL IS CANCELED TODAY! Nothing eventful happened. Instead, enjoy this picture of a snowman:

My internship is pretty sweet. I was honestly a little overwhelmed at how many events I was going to help plan, and so overwhelmed that I forgot half of them. Maybe she was listing all the ones she's in charge of... I'll have to ask as a clarification Friday.

I liked everyone I met today. Even though it was in passing and a simple, "Hi, I'm Michelle! Nice to meet you!" I got a good vibe from everyone. The person that left the best impression, besides the intern / volunteer coordinators, was the executive director himself. He just looked like a happy guy, and man was I right. This semester is going to be great!

I had lunch with Melissa today, and I'm really bummed she's going back to Colorado on the 22nd. Stuart leaves the 22nd too, and I haven't gotten to see him at all. This is one of the busiest weeks I've ever had, and I don't understand how I'm going to handle the rest of the semester. I added another class, and I'm a little freaked out because it's quite a bit of reading.

I don't read.

As I tell more and more people this horrible confession, I get more and more hilarious responses:

"Michelle, for goodness sake, you're in college!"
"You don't read? How have you gotten through all these years? Do you... ever read?"
"I had to read 6 books for one class semester!"
"Do you write papers? No? How do you write 5 pages of nothing?"
"CAN you read?"

Yes, I can! Do I? Not until the very end. Except this semester looks different because I already read for one of my classes.

And the trumpets from heaven just played for me!

After lunch, I went to Gina's condo and Moira was flipping out. Last time I wore my red coat, Moira was really calm and just kinda stood there. This time, she was being really weird and "sit" meant "lay" in her head. Then she peed on the bed, and it got bad. So at that moment, Gina and I headed out to run our errands: buy nail polish from my uncle's shop.

We then delivered some things to my sister's friend's place. Very cute house! She seemed really nice, and she was almost relieving to talk to and just kinda ramble. She even gave me some advice on life.

Ever since that talk with mom, I've been kinda scared. "Kinda" is an understatement. Melissa told me about getting a masters in public health. After doing some research, it looks pretty appealing. Gina said it's offered here at OU, and I honestly had no idea about it. I'll have to keep looking at it because the pay is a whoole lot better, and it's a good middle ground for my parents and me.

Chipotle was doing something to reward good grades:

1 A = Free Drink
2 As = Free chips and guac
3 As = Free burrito
4.0 = All of the above!

Time to go to Chipotle!

Today was the first day of school, and I was late to my first class. #win

It has definitely been an overwhelming day though. I have loved every bit of it, but it has barely even started. Shoot, it basically hasn't started since one class was just a syllabus day. I ran into Zach in the Union computer lab, and he helped me find a class for my gen. ed. I suddenly enrolled into Intro to Philosophy, and now I'm at a whopping 17 hours. Eeeeesh, this is gonna be rough!

It was either British Empire or Intro to Philosophy. Damn. Talk about a tough choice! Both seem really interesting, but I need As this semester, so the intro class won for sure.

I just finished sending out about 10 e-mails, and I'm already antsy for a reply. Tomorrow is the first day of my internship, so we're going to see if this is what I really want to do with my life!

I sadly don't have any business casual clothes that aren't all black. Stupid Victoria's Secret...